I’m now almost eight months pregnant and TOTALLY freaking out at the thought of having another human life in my care in less than 10 weeks. There’s lots I’m scared about – are we going to be any good at this, will we know what to do, will baby sleep ok, will I want to cry every five minutes, have we got everything we need, will I bond with my baby? And don’t even get me started on my anxieties about the birth – that’s a WHOLE other ballgame!
So here’s my honest take on my pregnancy journey and a few things going through my pregnant-sozzled brain at the moment…
Everyone’s got a horror story they want to share with you…
One thing I’m finding with my growing tummy is that everyone offers you advice. I’m totally down for parenting advice cause I can listen, file it away and decide whether or not I think it’s right for our baby. And then there are the stories… so many scary stories!
As an already terrified Mum-to-be, I can honestly tell you, your stories are NOT helping. I know parenthood isn’t going to be a walk in the park. I know it’s not one big holiday, all day naps and nothing but baby smiles and ‘awww’ moments. But hearing how bad your labour was, the pain you went through, that you’ve not slept in three months or your baby hates eating anything green really doesn’t calm my nerves. There’s a time and place for those stories, and it’s with other Mum’s who’ve already been through or are going through those times. Not an expectant Mummy! Insert wide-eyed-freaked-out-emoji here
How will we know what to do…?
Sure, there are plenty of books out there but they can only get you so far. Plus reading them often makes me more anxious so I can’t say I’m reading a whole lot! There are things running through my head like, “How do you swaddle your baby? What clothes do we need? Do I even need [insert random baby product here]? How will I know when to leave my baby and when to pick him/her up? How am I going to cope with having so many house guests AND a baby to look after?** How many muslin wraps do I need? What do you even use muslin wraps for?!”
I like being organised and having a plan so these sorts of questions are freaking me out slightly. I don’t even know what to pack in my hospital bag, but I think I might just google that one. Who knew a person so tiny could raise so many questions?!
** We’re expecting back to back house guests from January until early March. Yep, I’m nervous!!
Will I bond with my baby…?
There is a small part of me that is worried about how I will feel once our baby is here. My husband and I have been together for over 12 years and the last five have been extremely selfish. We travelled whenever we wanted to, spent many afternoons in beer gardens, stayed out late and slept in on weekends and generally had a damn good, selfish time.
We knew we wanted to start a family, and soon. Hence why shortly after moving back to Australia, we decided to try for a baby. We were incredibly lucky to fall pregnant and are both ridiculously excited to be parents, but sometimes I worry that I will resent my new life. Does that make me a bad person? Is it bad that sometimes I pine for the days spent on a Mexican beach drinking local beers and ending the night with frozen margaritas, kid and carefree? No, I don’t think it does, I think it means I’m human. But having another person who is 100% reliant on me is something I worry I’m not ready for. Are you ever ready? Is there ever the perfect time to have children? And then there’s the whole, “What if my baby doesn’t like me?” question that goes around my head.
Yep… pregnancy anxiety is real people!
Will I get my pre-baby body back…?
Another selfish question! Before I fell pregnant, I was in the best shape of my life. Super trim and loving how I felt inside and out – it was a good time!
I have really loved seeing my body change during pregnancy and have never felt horrible, unattractive, fat or unhappy – I find the human body amazing and I am also fascinated that there is a PERSON inside me. An actual human being! Incredible!!
Having been at my fittest, I have noticed every change, bump and curve. My once ‘way too big’ clothes are now in my ‘maybe I’ll fit into you next year’ pile (which contains 99% of my previous wardrobe by the way). Will I snap back into my old clothes? Will I really have to work at getting my pre-baby body back? Or will I be a completely different shape after baby?
To be honest, while this is something I think about, it’s also not something I’m overly worried about. One of my fitness/pregnancy/healthy eating inspirations on Instagram @aliceinhealthyland recently said after she gave birth to her beautiful son, “I’m not going to worry about scales, I’m going to live a healthy lifestyle and help promote good food choices for my son. From now on it’s not going to be about weight loss, I am just going to make good food choices, move every day and look after my mind.”
I absolutely love this and hope to adopt this positive, HEALTHY frame of mind for myself.
One more thing you should never say to a pregnant woman…
I know I look pregnant but saying to me, “Oh my goodness you’re huge!” or “Wow, you look like you’re ready to pop!” or my favourite, “Really?! You still have that long to go? Gosh that’s going to be a big baby…” is not helpful. At ALL.
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So throughout my pregnancy journey, I have learnt that it’s ok to feel anxious, worried and scared. It’s ok to not love every single moment and some days, it’s ok to feel REALLY over it. Because at the end of the day, my husband and I know we are incredibly lucky to be welcoming our first baby into the world and that we are even able to be parents. So often we take these sorts of thing for granted so I’m trying to keep these in mind, enjoy my pregnancy as much as possible, take each day as it comes and not beat myself up if I have a bad day or a mini-panic.
I doubt I’ll write another post about my bump before he or she decides to join the world so from babylifelovetravelfood and I, thanks for reading and wish us luck – I think we’re going to need it!
I also look forward to sharing all MY baby horror stories and scoffing at how I thought I was tired during pregnancy on AMICA in the coming months. Yes, I will probably become the worlds biggest mummy-hypocrite so remind me of this post when that happens, won’t you?!
Love Dan/lifelovetravelfood xx
PS. You can keep up to date with my bump journey and beyond on instagram – @lifelovetravelfood