My RUOK DAY

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Recently I was asked “why do I feel the need to be so public with things? Why do I talk about the stuff I’m going through?”

I replied “well I don’t talk about everything, I make sure I respect the privacy of my loved ones and try to always keep it helpful, not just complaining.”

And then I went on to my real reason, though I didn’t express it this well …

I share because if I can make one other person feel like they aren’t alone then my job is done. If I can let one person feel that they aren’t the only one struggling with something then my job is done. Because what use is it to be struggling in silence? It doesn’t benefit anyone or solve anything. I believe in this community of lovelies, a tribe of women who have each other’s backs, whether they have met in real life or not.

So here is my R U OK? DAY story.

This morning I wasn’t great. After a horrid winter of relentless bugs, colds, viruses I found myself totally drained. What’s more, I’m flying out tonight to attend #problogger – a conference/training program I have wanted to attend for over two years. Last year I made a promise to myself to get to it and it has manifested!

So this morning I was feeling frustrated, drained and disappointed.

I know I’m not suffering from horrid cancer, or having my heart ripped out as a loved one faces that beast. I know I’m not stuck in Syria or another place suffering hell on Earth. I’m well aware of how incredibly lucky I am to have my life and do feel “middle class suburbia Anglo female” guilt. This post is not to trivialise such struggles and heartaches. My heart truly goes out to these situations and if there is anything I can do to help PLEASE let me know.

But sometimes reminding yourself of these things, only makes you feel a tad worse and this morning I cried. For days I had internal monologue of ‘get over yourself’ but cracked this morning.

While sitting on the couch, in dirty pjs, two toddlers over me and ABC 4 Kids on repeat, feeling rotten, I broke, and had a little sob.

But then two separate lovelies texted me, just to check up and I was honest. Said I was feeling hormotional and just over being runned down. In return they offered some kind and wise words. This was enough for me to snap out of it. I got up, ate something, booked a doctor’s appointment and took care of things. My mood improved and I felt lighter.

Now I’m on the plane with preggas safe drugs, meaning panadol, strepsils and lots of tissues. I’m feeling a tad anxious but a lot better than this morning.

Moral of the story – you may be facing mountains or anthills, but either way the best way forward is to share how you are feeling, because it sure beats doing it on your own.

And sometimes, it is ok to realise that even though you are bloody lucky, sometimes things can be a bit rough.

Hope you R OK and are sharing if you’re not.

Love,
Em x

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Emma

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