What I learnt from #backyourself





Hello Lovelies,

On Tuesday Rosalina and I attended the #backyourself conference in Noosa. Organised by the divine Tess from Dulcie Joe Co,  the event brought together incredible women such as Lisa Messenger, Jamila Rizvi and lots more!


As soon as I stepped inside I felt like I was with my tribe. Women in casual yet funky attire, jokes about not shaving legs and dropping the f-bomb were shared. Plus everyone was stoked that I had brought a Bub along – true women supporting women.

The overall theme was as the title suggested, how to back yourself when chasing your creative, hustling and biz ideas. We all know it comes down to an unwavering self belief and confidence, but how do we achieve this when most of us suffer from some form of inferiority complex? And how do we achieve these dreams whilst we are all busy with responsibilities? The speakers had some fabulous suggestions to combat these issues which I will now share with you …


The Opinion Wall
A large reason we don’t do what we want is the judgement of others. It takes courage to live our lives out loud and we are never going to please everyone. Step in Jamila Rizvi’s opinion wall. In her home office she has pictures up of 20 people whose opinions mean most to her from her dad, old bosses and Beyoncé. If the people on her wall would approve of what she is about to write or do, then she is fine with it. Jamila can go right ahead and ignore any other contradicting opinion. I love this idea and can apply to everything from career to mummyhood.

Taking this idea further is to make sure those closest to you are supportive, positive souls and get rid of the ones that aren’t. Have a look at the people in your inner circle, as they should reflect your values and lift you up, not be haters.


Risk v Risky
Risk v Risky is all about analysing the choices in front of you and deciding on the best path, so you can proceed with confidence. This theme came up a bit and each speaker had a different way to similar approach to it – the good old pros and cons list, thinking about the worse case scenario and working backwards, or ‘Risk v Risky’ by Robyn Gipters. Basically a risk is something that could lead to large devastation such as losing your family home. Risky is taking a punt that might not work but you will be fine such as spending some money on Facebook marketing for your business. If you always go back to the ‘risk v risky’ principle you will become confident in your decision making.

Self taught is self made
Thanks to YouTube tutorials, webinars and Google we are now able to learn how to do new things just with access to good wifi and dedicating our time. For small business owners and those turning hobbies to profit, this is a massive advantage. Lisa Messenger shared how she had no idea how to run a magazine when starting the Collective and actually googled things such as ‘what does a magazine editor do’? Tess also shared how #backyourself was the first event she has put together and googled things like ‘what is a run sheet’? Moral of the story is don’t let a little lack of knowledge get in your way. Just do your own research and have a crack. This approach also means you have a greater chance of distrusting a market and gaining great results in the process.

Outsource your weaknesses
On the flip side of the above point, some tasks require an expert, or at least someone who is better at it than you. That is why for We Ain’t Boring CBR we have a pro bono accountant. We can’t possibly do the finances by ourselves due to lack of knowledge and skills. So to ensure the social enterprise doesn’t go under we outsource. All the successful business women at #backyourself outsource various tasks so they can focus on what they are good at leading to business growth.

Time management and your energy levels
As we are all busy women in a busy world, time management came up. Jamila had a great tip on how to be more effective with your time and it comes down to your energy levels. Work out when your brain is most switched on. Are you a morning person or do your best thinking at night? Do you gain your energy from other people or need solitude? Once you have worked these things out organise your work load accordingly. Do your ‘heavy’ mental work when you are most switched on. Leave your admin and repetitive tasks when you know you will be sluggish. If you get energised by others set meetings at the 3pm arvo slump to perk you up again. I know by the time it is night time my brain is fried, so doing things mid morning is best for me and can’t believe I used to do all nighters finishing assignments at uni! Could never do that now!

Intuition and meditation
Using your intuition and practising meditation came up lots during the panel discussions. Basically the idea of never ignoring your gut was explored. Work out if it is just fear making you hesitant or something really is wrong and shouldn’t be ignored. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If it is fear, feel it and do it anyway, or you will stop growing.

I liked how Lisa Messenger described her regular meditation practice as it is kinda like mine. Lisa mediates ‘in action’ as in when on a run, or dancing, walking between meetings or in between phone calls. You don’t have to be crossed legged chanting ‘om’ to meditate. Her approach makes sense for such a busy entrepreneur. I find one of the best ways to meditate us when cleaning the dishes, or folding the laundry. I also like to be mindful on walks/jogs. However you can get some mediation in your life – do it. The health benefits and clearer thinking that come from it are so worthwhile.


Fail Fast
This is so important when it comes to business and life in general. If something isn’t working, don’t keep doing it but rather decide what can be done to improve the situation, or drop the situation completely. If we can learn to adapt and not be scared of change, we are on our way to success. This also applies to relationships. I remember when I got engaged to my Hubby my dearly departed mum said ‘you guys will be fine, because you both know how to adapt, so whatever is thrown your way in life you will deal with it’. Wise woman my mum.

Can’t see it, can’t be it
This really wasn’t discussed but something I just observed and felt. We really can’t be the type of people we want to be unless we have great role models. Going to events like #backyourself remind me that there a kick ass women out there who are not only kicking goals but staying humble and doing their part to make a better world. Honestly when I met Lisa and Jamila I thought they might be a bit stand offish but I was met with the total opposite. Kind women who showed a true interest in others and our own journeys. It was so heart warming to know my previous assumptions were totally wrong.

There was lots more I learnt but just heard Rosa wake from her nap so will have to leave it here. If you went to the event please let me know what you learnt!! If you didn’t but anything from above resonates with you, please let me know as well! Sharing is caring!

Much love,
Em x

ps. I also learnt Noosa is full of fabulous women dressed in boho chic and home to some yummy food vans 😉

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One Comment

  1. I’ve got no time for haters – but that friend you can rely on for a reality check is invaluable too!! 🙌

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